Scooby Dooby Doo

For the first time in months, I actually remember having a dream. It was sometime this morning: Alex and I were driving up and up into a strange building, which turned out to be a creepy mansion, likely haunted. As we were looking around (on foot) with flashlights she simply vanished!! D:

rest

Ingwaz was drawn from the bag this May Day, the rune of Ing, Frey in his aspect as a god of the Earth's fertility. Appropriate, don't you think? Thank the ancestors and hail to the Horned Lord!

War to protect China?

A siren alerted us to something like an air raid. Mom took me and my sister outside, insisting we were supposed to leave the house. I told her everything was going to blow up except the house and we'd die. There were tanks in front of the garage as we sat on a double sided bench nearly a quarter mile in front of the house where the Church parking lot and expressway should be. To my left about a hundred yards, military was ready with their guns, facing our house. We sat out in the open, watching.

Planes flew over the home with banners reading, "Something something blah blah to protect China blah blah blah." (I couldn't really make out most of what it said!) as if someone was attacking us because we'd gotten in a war to protect the false-communism we owe much of America's money to, a country that would only be of strategic interest to us because they make all our crap.

As we waited on the benches to see what would happen, my sister and mother sat facing the other direction. One of our own soldiers threw a grenade at us from in front of our garage where the tanks were now. It bounced off the bench and I kicked it far enough away to avoid the explosion! Surely this was a mistake, I thought, but sure enough he threw a couple more. At first I was frozen still, then pulled my sister away from the bench and tried to get mom to come with us. She insisted this was her fight or protest, something like that. She wouldn't stand up, intending to just wait for another explosion.

I woke and Mom is alright. The wars are elsewhere as usual. This was an unpleasant days sleep, to say the least! I'd been unable to remember much detail of any dream for a long while.

disputatious lunacy

Science deals with observable phenomena. We have words for shit we might not yet understand. An "apparition" may be a trick of light, an imprint playing itself back... or perhaps a ghost, phantom, spirit, whatever you call it... conscious energy that remains after neurological decomposition... dead people, et cetera.

Is it absurd to entertain such notions or to actively believe in the paranormal? "Yes, it is." you say? Hogwash! You probably believe ridiculous ideas like our Earth being a perfect sphere or that omnivores (such as humans) require animal products in their diets, but you can't imagine that matter and energy can only be converted, never destroyed? If that sounds preposterous, look at a compost heap, then at the plants growing from damp soil!

That's what I call proof of life after death, reincarnation, transmigration of the soul. You are the decisions you make and the food you eat, the only person you can defeat. Are you a graveyard or a garden?

$100 of vegan food

Mom and I went to Lion Market today and stopped at Safeway briefly for a few more items. Did you notice I've been snacking on matzos?

$25 of groceries

goats

I had a dream that I decided I wanted to keep goats in the patio, which isn't really so good an idea because it's a small garden. Anyway, little goats started to sneak in from a neighbor's backyard to live in mine! It was a pleasant little dream...

hope

I find hope in this potato plant growing from concrete.

The soil is fertile.

Thorn and Birch

I went a couple of days without eating or sleeping because I had been unable to acquire the flowers of female Cannabis sativa. Since last night, I'm smoking the best "Romulan" I've had in years!

Most of my dreams have been forgotten but I remember this one. I was walking in the forest with my friends Brad and Scott, when we came to an almost horizontal tree. It was at just the right angle to form a trail into the Sky, and traveling this way was apparently the plan. It was terribly difficult to balance, even with a hiking staff, so I got down and refused to go up. We argued.

nightmares and divination

I slept all day, which isn't out of the ordinary. The nightmares I had were horrifying... I awoke (or so I thought) to the sound of my mother talking with her mother. I walked passed the stairs and saw her, wearing a green flowery nightgown, most of the way up the staircase, but didn't see her face. I went into the washroom, felt the need to wash my hands far too many times, then went upstairs. The hallway light no longer on and I found Mom in my sister's old room at the computer. "Where did Grandma go?" I asked.

Mom paused looking at me and then said, "She died."

"I just saw you talking with her ten minutes ago!" The light came on near the beds and I saw someone laying face down under the sheets. I turned her over, barely still warm, her face distorted. "Why didn't you wake me when she came over to visit?"

I went downstairs and my sister was at her laptop and watching television, but there was a strange symbol on the screen like a stylized damaged trident facing downward, with a moving green background. It was noisy yet I couldn't make out the sounds. I told her what happened and Lyn pressed the power button on the TV, stopping for a moment in confusion because it didn't shut off, then ran upstairs. I tried to shut it off, then reached behind to unplug it and woke screaming.

I later dreamt I was carrying a box with a cat in it, the body of Cutie, whom my sister's awful dogs killed this Halloween. There were tiny insects and worms all over her. I was looking for my mom, and awoke calling to her. I said "I couldn't find you!" and went back to sleep, telling her later of the nightmare.

I offered part of an apple revealing a pentagram inside for the spirits and Ing, as well as coffee, cannabis smoke... I had received Ingwaz in my runecasting tonight. Mom got Gebo. Both runes were face down, but not bad staves to get under any circumstance. See the Runecaster's Handbook by Edred Thorsson for interpretations!

Witches are frugal!

I bought three tall white jar candles and a little one, plus six pineapple scented votives, all made in America! That added up to a little over ten bucks, which isn't so bad. I was able to purchase a twenty-eight cent carrot, five criminis for a just over a dollar and a pound of barley, which suddenly went up to $1.15! "Safeway" my ass! I found ten cents in the dryer, leaving me with a total of one quarter and two dimes! That's how witches spend money, fucking frugal.

Curses! I'm out of candles...

Sitting in front of the hearth sipping coffee, smoking hemp, burning sandalwood incense, I notice the candles are nearly burnt out! I need three white pillars for the fireplace, one red taper for ritual, and some votive candles or tea lights for the protective spirit. I'm almost out of cannabis as well, which is a terrible dilemma!

I've $13.40 for mushrooms, carrots, barley et cetera...

murk Isa

"Transitions bode dangers, though the dangers may be hidden by beauty. Your will may be weakened; or, you may be controlled by others, by outside forces." (Runecaster's Handbook by Edred Thorsson) "This rune may indicate a time to pull back into the self without separating from the world."

"That way doesn't go anywhere!"

I had a dream I accidently drank cow's milk instead of almond. Gross! I also dreamt I was hiking and climbing up a mountain, having difficulty. It was getting too high and steep, but I turned around after a man and woman came down from there and said "That way doesn't go anywhere!" Many of my dreams were about military conflicts and I found myself in the house avoiding fully automatic fire from unknown aggressors.

thirteen mushroom stew

I started with Streit's barley mushroom soup mix... added extra barley and split peas, plus thirteen criminis ("baby bella" mushrooms) sliced thin and a dash of seasalt. Just a little carrot juice was added to enhance the broth. This is for Waxing Moon Circle tonight, a little bit of lunar magic in every spoonful! It's really more of a stew than a soup... hearty and heathen, yet vegan and kosher!

murk Tiwaz

My condition has greatly improved with proper witch's medicines, currently experiencing insomnia which is normal. The headaches have declined sharply and the spinal pain has been alleviated enough that I could water the garden and silently meditate in front of the hearth. Hail Goddess Ganja!

ignoring flame wars

I think I've initiated a flame war, so I've decided not to read the many responses to my comments under a "Barak Obama" poll on facebook. (Someone must have thought it funny to spell "Barack" wrong!) While I enjoy ripping apart Republicans on the Internet, I've got a feeling I don't want to subject myself to the chaos that has erupted. I'll just let it sort itself out, nothing to worry about if I choose not to worry.

I've succumb to hemicrania!

A fake billion dollar bill was burnt in ritual this morning. The rune of the Birch Goddess was drawn from my lot bag later on, face up, indicating "beauty and prosperity" among other things. A migraine is setting in, due to stress caused by the fairer sex and a complete lack of female hemp flowers.

my sister and my self-destruction

Yesterday I dreamt my sister was here and we were getting along well. She seemed happy and in the dream I wasn't angry with her. I haven't had any cannabis and so last night I had PTSD flashbacks and (due to the Paxil I was on long ago) injured my head. I've a terrible headache now and my untreated spinal condition has been flaring up. I managed to sleep last night and dreamt my sister and her fiancé were here, in the house, and I was ignoring both of them. I'd told my mother yesterday how angry I am at Joe, and while this is Lyn's childhood home, I want neither the dogs nor Joe in my home again.

I'm quite sure I won't be going to their wedding in late August, as my sister hasn't said or done anything to make up for making me feel worthless this Yule. They're both morons, murdered one of my patio cats (Cutie) on Halloween. Joe's an asshole on top of that and there are things he's done to my sister I won't forgive him for: buying her MDMA prior to her psychotic break a couple years ago and leaving a bruise on her arm. He also said when Mulder and Tres killed Cutie that he'd kill his own son. I told him I'd kill him and he arrogantly declared he'd defend himself. I tried to accept Joe as a member of our family, but that was because I care about my sister.

She hates me just for being sick, so it's a lost cause. I won't forgive either of them for murdering Cutie, nor will I forgive my sister for calling me a "parasite" before Yule and leaving me all alone Christmas Eve and the morning of. I've no moral support aside from friends, my mom and my cats. Friends are exhausting and I don't think I can continue my meetup groups while suffering such agony, unable to buy medicine, wishing I were dead. I don't know what deity to appeal to for this sort of help.

Waxing Moon Circle

Although my witchcraft experience extends back to 1999, I've only yesterday begun my Wicca 101 course. This is my new journal for spells, dreams and visions! Freyja is telling me to take this very seriously...