hope

I find hope in this potato plant growing from concrete.

The soil is fertile.

Thorn and Birch

I went a couple of days without eating or sleeping because I had been unable to acquire the flowers of female Cannabis sativa. Since last night, I'm smoking the best "Romulan" I've had in years!

Most of my dreams have been forgotten but I remember this one. I was walking in the forest with my friends Brad and Scott, when we came to an almost horizontal tree. It was at just the right angle to form a trail into the Sky, and traveling this way was apparently the plan. It was terribly difficult to balance, even with a hiking staff, so I got down and refused to go up. We argued.

nightmares and divination

I slept all day, which isn't out of the ordinary. The nightmares I had were horrifying... I awoke (or so I thought) to the sound of my mother talking with her mother. I walked passed the stairs and saw her, wearing a green flowery nightgown, most of the way up the staircase, but didn't see her face. I went into the washroom, felt the need to wash my hands far too many times, then went upstairs. The hallway light no longer on and I found Mom in my sister's old room at the computer. "Where did Grandma go?" I asked.

Mom paused looking at me and then said, "She died."

"I just saw you talking with her ten minutes ago!" The light came on near the beds and I saw someone laying face down under the sheets. I turned her over, barely still warm, her face distorted. "Why didn't you wake me when she came over to visit?"

I went downstairs and my sister was at her laptop and watching television, but there was a strange symbol on the screen like a stylized damaged trident facing downward, with a moving green background. It was noisy yet I couldn't make out the sounds. I told her what happened and Lyn pressed the power button on the TV, stopping for a moment in confusion because it didn't shut off, then ran upstairs. I tried to shut it off, then reached behind to unplug it and woke screaming.

I later dreamt I was carrying a box with a cat in it, the body of Cutie, whom my sister's awful dogs killed this Halloween. There were tiny insects and worms all over her. I was looking for my mom, and awoke calling to her. I said "I couldn't find you!" and went back to sleep, telling her later of the nightmare.

I offered part of an apple revealing a pentagram inside for the spirits and Ing, as well as coffee, cannabis smoke... I had received Ingwaz in my runecasting tonight. Mom got Gebo. Both runes were face down, but not bad staves to get under any circumstance. See the Runecaster's Handbook by Edred Thorsson for interpretations!

Witches are frugal!

I bought three tall white jar candles and a little one, plus six pineapple scented votives, all made in America! That added up to a little over ten bucks, which isn't so bad. I was able to purchase a twenty-eight cent carrot, five criminis for a just over a dollar and a pound of barley, which suddenly went up to $1.15! "Safeway" my ass! I found ten cents in the dryer, leaving me with a total of one quarter and two dimes! That's how witches spend money, fucking frugal.

Curses! I'm out of candles...

Sitting in front of the hearth sipping coffee, smoking hemp, burning sandalwood incense, I notice the candles are nearly burnt out! I need three white pillars for the fireplace, one red taper for ritual, and some votive candles or tea lights for the protective spirit. I'm almost out of cannabis as well, which is a terrible dilemma!

I've $13.40 for mushrooms, carrots, barley et cetera...

murk Isa

"Transitions bode dangers, though the dangers may be hidden by beauty. Your will may be weakened; or, you may be controlled by others, by outside forces." (Runecaster's Handbook by Edred Thorsson) "This rune may indicate a time to pull back into the self without separating from the world."

"That way doesn't go anywhere!"

I had a dream I accidently drank cow's milk instead of almond. Gross! I also dreamt I was hiking and climbing up a mountain, having difficulty. It was getting too high and steep, but I turned around after a man and woman came down from there and said "That way doesn't go anywhere!" Many of my dreams were about military conflicts and I found myself in the house avoiding fully automatic fire from unknown aggressors.